Oh wow, I knew it would be awhile but for some reason it always surprises me when the exact thing I predict plays out. The past month has been a shed and an illumination, and what better time to share an update than the morning of the Strawberry Full Moon, on a palindrome day (6-29-26) as my womb realigns with the full moon once again.
The logistics: Miles and I moved our things into storage, moved out of our house, and bought a camper van with intentions of camping and road tripping all summer. We anticipated one week tops of delays, but it has turned to 3 weeks, and it has felt like stretching myself to the absolute extent of my ability to remain rooted into this plan. And I am beginning to recognize, after a crashout-induced overnight at the shore (including a giant jacuzzi bubble bath while watching Napoleon Dynamite) that I am trying to force something and I really don’t have to.
I’ve recently been talking to my sister about the elements of recovery, and the growth spiral. It moves forward, while regularly returning to similar patterns or familiar places to keep us aware, to keep us consistent, to remind us of what we are working for and towards. And that is what this sacred pause is bringing me. The opportunity to see just how far I’ve come.
While we wait for the go ahead from the mechanic, we are staying with Miles’ parents. Sleeping in the same bed we did before we moved into the house we just moved out of. How full circle can you truly get? And yet, it’s not the same Miles and Amanda sleeping in that bed. We’ve grown through two years of lessons living with roommates, recovering financially, falling deeper in love while simultaneously pushing one another to our edges. What a gift to have a moment to stop and see that before we head into our next adventure, what I keep referring to as “nomad summer”.
I’m seeing this now, with one week to go, but at first all I saw was the parts that looked like the past. And Mercury is about to go retrograde, mind you. So I’ve been feeling all the things. And for a little while, it was paralyzing. But I sat and sat and felt and felt, and then all of a sudden I was reminded: I am resilient and resourceful as f*ck. I’m not stuck. I’m not trapped. I chose this path and now I’m learning the rules of the road. And today I feel capable of quite literally anything. I’m sitting in a local coffee shop, working on my soul led project (announcing mid Leo season, stay tuned a little bit longer!!!)
So if you’re being asked to revisit a person, place or thing from the past, it’s NOT the past. And you are not that version of yourself. You’ve got new tools and mindsets, and hopefully new resources too. Be gentle with yourself, and be curious too. You’ll surprise yourself with how much growth has gone unnoticed.
Sending love from the in-between.